Less than 0.1

What a relief. 

I just had my 3-month post-op appointment. 

The anxiety has been building over the last few weeks.

“What if...?”

“What will I do...?”

I couldn’t keep the worry, doubt, and fear from creeping in.

My PSA?

Less than 0.1; virtually undetectable.

I couldn’t ask for better results.

Another nail in the coffin of Cancer.

I was able to get my mind off my PSA results on my long runs on Saturday and Tuesday.

I had an epic run with Jon and Jess on Veteran’s day.

We went up to Donner Summit and ran on the Pacific Crest Trail up above Castle Summit.  The views were great, weather was perfect, and the company was awesome.

This was definitely a run to be repeated.

Support

Beards for Bill                              

September is Prostate Cancer awareness month and the organization called Septembeard encourages men to grow a beard in support of Prostate Cancer awareness.  On Thursday some of the team "Beards for Bill" group got together for a picture.

Cut It Out 

Saturday was the Zero end Prostate Cancer walk/run. 

We had the largest team at the event.  It means so much to me that 30 people would take most of their Saturday to San Francisco, walk or run a 5K, then back home.  We also raised over $2,000 for prostate cancer research and awareness.  I wish I could have spent more time with each individual who supported me in the 5K and with donations. 

  

3.5

My big news??? 

I ran 3.5 miles today!

My Dr. said I could start running 6 weeks after surgery and it’s been 6 weeks since surgery.

I wasn’t sure if I’d even be able to run to the end of the street.

My neighbor, Greg ran with me.  We did 1 mile and I felt pretty good so we ran a second mile. 

No pain.  No soreness. No incontinence.

I decided to throw on an extra half mile before I went home.

Ok... so you figured, 1 + 1 + ½ = 2½  not 3½

However...

My friend Annette ran over to see if she could find us out running the neighborhood.  She stopped at my house about 10 minutes after I finished my run.  Since I wanted her to partake in this special return to running day, I ran her back to her house, then home again for 1 more mile.

I felt like I could have continued for at least a couple more miles, but I’ll take it easy for now.

I’m in no rush to get to my next marathon.

I look at my 6 weeks off from running as...  In the words of the great runner, Jessica Karkoski Strack, “... an opportunity for me to have an epic comeback.”

53

When I look back over the last 4 months since my diagnosis of prostate cancer, the most difficult part was the initial concept of having cancer living in my body.  The first few weeks were tough.  I didn’t understand how or why.  

I didn’t know what my future would look like.  

I was angry, angry at the cancer.  

I let that anger push me into a fight, a fight I was determined to win. 

It didn’t matter how or why it happened. 

That was the past and I couldn’t change the past. 

But the future?  

I can do something about the future. 

Attitude is so important in the fighting and healing process.  

From the beginning I latched on to

Leviticus 26:7 Chase your enemies and they shall fall before you...

Cancer was the enemy and I wasn’t in denial about it. 

I looked it head on and went after it.

And... I’ve beat it!

Yesterday was my 53^rd birthday.  I don’t like parties but I let my wife put one together this year. There were 15 of my closest friends there. 

Every one of them has been thinking and praying for me.

They have been encouraging me all the way.

They give me strength.

How hard this journey would have been without them...

Without their prayers.

There is no way I could repay them for what they have given me, but there is no need.

That’s just what friends do.

I was given a picture with the following written on it:

CANCER

can never

consume love,

abolish hope,

erode faith,

disrupt peace,

repress courage,

attack the soul,

eliminate eternal life,

or conquer your

SPIRIT

I will stand firm, armed with these words.

When I feel afraid, discouraged, or hopeless due to cancer I will stand on these words.

It reminds me of something that a former college professor and mayor, Joe Serna, said while battling cancer:

Cancer may kill my body but it can’t kill my spirit.

My spirit keeps getting stronger and my body continues to recover and get stronger.

Soon I'll be back running the roads and trails.

2 Weeks Cancer Free

Went into work today for an hour. (I teach 11th grade U.S. History and 12th grade Economics. Students start school tomorrow.)  I was overwhelmed by everyone’s hugs, encouragement, and support.  It’s great to be working at a place where I’m actually looking forward to getting back. (No idea when that will be, 4-8 weeks???)

After an hour at work, coffee with Jon, and a stop at the grocery store, I had to go home to crash.  

After a good nap I got in a 1½ mile walk. 

When simple activities get me so worn out I get discouraged, but I read something on a post of an online support group:

“Don’t look at your day to day progress; look at your week to week progress.”

When I look back to last week; what an improvement!

A new goal!

With the possibility of having surgery in 2 weeks I decided to enter a half marathon.  I figured it would be my last race for a while.  I've pretty much postponed all future running or triathlon goals until I consider myself out of recovery mode.
Most of the Mountain Lion Running Club was there.
Norm, Kat, Kelly, Dave, and Michelle.  We all had really good runs.
Kat was 2nd in her age group.
I missed 3rd place by 1 second. (So Cancer; what do you think about that?)

At the race a woman handed Kelly a flyer for an upcoming race in September.
ZERO End Prostate Cancer 5K.  They are held around the country.
On September 20 in they are having one in San Francisco.
September is prostate cancer awareness month, and…
September 20 is one day before the Lake Tahoe Ironman that I had to cancel.

This is my first post surgery goal.
It's only 3.1 miles, not quite the 140.6 mile Ironman but…
I will run,
or walk,
this 5K.

I'd like to get a team of at least 10 runners and walkers and raise $1,000.
Make it your goal to join team Cut It Out!
Even if you aren't a runner, you have lots of time to train to get to 3.1 miles.
You don't have to run the entire event, you don't even have to run any of it, just walk it.
I know that it may be hard to find the time to drive to San Francisco, park your car (good luck with that one), run or walk a 5K, and drive home, so…
If you can't make it September 20 I'd like you to get out and run or walk a 5K (3.1 miles) wherever you are that day.

Will you make it your goal to run or walk at least 3.1 miles on September 20?

If you are able to support the ZERO End Prostate Cancer organization that would be great too.  I checked them out and they actually put a higher percentage of their revenue to the cause than many of the large cancer organizations.

A 2nd opinion

Anyone just finding this blog may want to go back to the first post and read up to today, or not.

Went for a 2nd opinion yesterday.  This was the Dr. of my Dr.  Wow, what an amazing Dr.  First off we waited over two hours until I got to see him. (I was warned about this from my Dr. so I had plenty of reading material.) Once we got in to talk with him he spent about two and a half hours with us.

Good news or bad news???
Ok… we'll go with the bad news first.
Something that the first Dr. didn't tell me (or if he did, he didn't make it sound of any importance) one of the biopsy cores showed "perineural invasion".
Uh, what the heck does that mean? It means that the cancer has found a nerve in the prostate and has grabbed on and started following it.  Makes it easier for the cancer to get out of the prostate.
Even I can figure that's not good.
And… he did a DRE (Digital Rectal Exam - not fun) and felt something on the left side of my prostate. Unfortunately, the left side isn't where the biopsy showed any cancer.
That means the I went from a stage T1c to a T2a moving on the border between low risk and intermediate risk.
All in all not really that bad of news even though it sounds pretty bad. Still considered LOW RISK by most standards.
Now for the good news!
This Dr. is great.  He knows his stuff.  He explained everything.  He is very thorough. He wants to do a couple other tests.  He has done well over 1,000 robotic surgeries. Without going into boring detail… He's great, and he has one opening, June 18.  If not then, sometime in July.

So that's my decision.
#Surgery
#Radical Prostatectomy (RP)
#Cut the sonofabitch out!

Enough of the medical crap.  Too much of it can bring me down.

One of my running friends, Dave, got some Stand-Up 2 Cancer shirts for our running group.
He felt like he wanted to do something so he did.
Thanks Dave!
 All of us who made it out for our weekly long run this morning, wore them. Made me realize how blessed I am to be surrounded by good friends.
I need them.
Andrea and I both have lots of good friends who would do anything for us.
And now is the time we need you!
There is no way I can express what everyone means to us right now.
Just knowing that there are so many people who would be there in an instant if needed.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.  If either of them falls, the one will lift the other one up...

Up to today I didn't think anyone was reading this blog.  I figured I would wait until I knew for sure what treatment I'm going to do before I let the cat out of the bag for the whole world. I found out today from Kelly, people are already reading it.
I was planning on putting it on Facebook today.
Not to complain or get sympathy; I want to know what others have gone through.
I want to learn from their trials, so please feel free to post comments, email, text, call….
I also want to let people read this blog to know what's going on with my treatment, my healing, my recovery. Again, please feel free to post a comment, email, text, call...

You may want to go back to the first post and read in sequence.

Prayer and a Ride

After church today there was a large group who wanted to pray for me.
(Thanks for getting the group together Bob!)
What a blessing.  How wonderful to know that so many people truly care and want to be a part of my journey.
I know it's all in God's hands.
I know that God will get me through this.
I go back to what I stood on years ago when in the midst of my depression, Psalms 23.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restore my soul.
He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
EVEN THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH I WILL FEAR NO EVIL, FOR YOU ARE WITH ME.
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil.
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life.
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

What an amazing thing that our church just happens to be going through a series of 50 days of HOPE.

Someone in the group suggested that I do a blog along the way; so here it is…

After church, a good ride and a chat with one of my best friends of… wow, 30 years plus??? Doug.  He is always there whenever I need him.  He knows how to give me space, and how to just hang and say nothing if that's what I need.  I'm sure there's going to be quite a few times when I'm going to need him throughout this.  Thanks Doug!