The voice that wants me to quit

 I finally got back into the pool two weeks ago. 

I only made it in water twice in the last 12 months.

First lap; ok.

Turn around, second lap; ok.

Now I’m feeling a little winded.

I had to stop and rest every few laps.

Eighteen minutes into it I was ready to quit.

Then I remembered, that my competition is against the little voice inside that wants me to quit.

I’m stronger than that voice.

I’ve heard it before and didn’t quit.

I wasn’t going to quit this time.

I thought of a bible verse.

We don’t wrestle with flesh and blood, but with spiritual forces. Ephesians 6:12

I pressed on.

In 30 minutes I managed to get in over a quarter mile with lots of rest breaks.

Not great but I did it.

Two days later I was back at the pool, wondering could I even get in a quarter mile?

15 minutes into the swim I was almost at a quarter mile.

35 minutes later I made half a mile.

I got in a 20 mile ride Saturday and a 15 mile trail run Sunday.

Only made it to the pool once so far this week for another half mile.

I’m getting more nervous as I get closer and closer to my next PSA test next week.

I know there is nothing I can do to change it.

I try to give it up to God.

What will be, will be.

If it comes back...

Well, no need to go there.

I‘m not going to let my mind be consumed by what-ifs.

Hike in Napa today.

Trial run in Auburn tomorrow.

Maybe pictures to follow?

1:58 Shamrock

I ran the Shamrock'n 1/2 marathon yesterday with my friend and running partner, Michelle.
Our goal was 2 hours.
We ran it in 1:58
Two hours was kind of a mark to let me know I'm back in good running condition, and also to practice a consistent pace throughout the race in preperation for pacing the Elk Grove 1/2 in two weeks.
(I'm pacing the 2:15 group and Michelle is pacing the 2:20 group.)

I'm feeling extremely blessed these days.
I'm so fortunate to have my good health,
a wonderful wife,
a job I enjoy,
a beautiful house,
two fun dogs,
great friends,
an awesome church,
and so much more to fill my life.

Lemons

I've been drinking lemon water with baking soda almost every morning since I came home from surgery.
It's replaced my morning cup of coffee.  I can't say I feel magically better but if I wake up with a headache it's usually gone shortly after I drink my lemon water.

After I drink it I brush my teeth.  I've read that the lemon is tough on your teeth if you don't brush.

Check out the article on this link.

2015 Races

I'm getting back into doing some races.
I have the Shamrockin 1/2 marathon next Sunday.

The Elk Grove 1/2 marathon two weeks after that.

The San Francisco Marathon in July.

I also signed up for the California International Marathon in December.

It's shaping up to look like a good year.
I'm sure I'll have a few other races.

Long time...

It’s been way too long since I last posted.

I would start writing and think that I’d finish it later and...

January 31 was big for me. 

Six months cancer free.

February came and went.

I got back on my bike for a couple of rides.  I didn’t go more than 15 miles but everything felt good. 

I started doing some pull-ups, push-ups, and sit-ups/planks, but I was having a little discomfort around a couple of incision areas so I decided to back off.  I think I’m ok and I’m probably over analyzing things.

I’ve been running regularly; about 30 miles a week.  I’ve been doing a 14-16 mile long run on the weekends.

Cancer is still a good reminder that nothing in life is worth getting overly anxious about. 

I’ll get done what I can get done. 

I’ll get where I’m going when I get there. 

I can’t change the outcome of so many things, so why be anxious or bothered by them?

Ok...

At least I got this post up.

Time and Persistence of Memory

Going through recovery after prostate cancer surgery I’ve noticed some changes in my attitude about time.

I don’t get anxious about being late when I have somewhere to go. 

If I’m 5 minutes late to something it’s not going to change the world. 

If people get worked up about it that’s their choice, but I’ll get where I need to be when I get there. 

I’ll get the things done that are going to get done. 

If something doesn’t get done today, I guess it’s just not going to get done today. 

Maybe tomorrow?

I’ve always had a secret admiration for people who can show up 10-15 minutes late and don’t seem to even notice.

I want to be one of those people.

I think I value my time more than before.

I enjoy living in the moment more than I use to.

I take time to find the little things that bring me joy.

New year - new goals.

My big race for 2015?

I signed up for the San Francisco Marathon, July 26.

That will be just 4 days short of 1 year cancer free.

I also signed up for the Shamrock’n Half Marathon March 15 and I’m going to lead a pace group for the Elk Grove, Running of the Elk Half Marathon, March 29.

I’ll probably do some other half marathons, a triathlon or two, and maybe California International Marathon at the end of the year. 

I’m just going to enjoy running and being fit and healthy.

Goodbye 2014

2014
A difficult year.
A life changing year.
A year I got blindsided by Prostate Cancer.
A year that could have kicked my ass, physically, mentally, and spiritually if I didn't have:
My Faith
My Wife
My Friends
My Church
My Co-workers
My Dogs
My Running
(The list is in no specific order but notice I didn't put dogs or running before anyone? )

It's kind of amazing that I came up with a Personal Mission Statement (Look on the right side of the blog) at the beginning of 2014 not having a clue what was ahead.
It's still my Personal Mission Statement.
I am so much more prepared to deal with life's problems. (Another thing to thank Cancer for)
Little problems don't matter and big problems are little.
I'm not going to let little troubles get in my way.

Dr. Seuss summed it up pretty good in I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew.

Put on my shoes and GO

It's been a while since I heard that voice in my head.  It was pretty weak this morning.  It wasn't screaming at me.  It was more the voice of a someone with emphysema gasping for breath.
It said, "Don't go out in the wind and rain this morning for a run.  You can do it tomorrow.  You're still recovering and you need some rest."
As soon as I heard that I put on my shoes and headed out the door.
What a GREAT little run in the wind and rain.
I enjoyed it so much that I added an extra mile just to say…
Fuck You Cancer

And may I remind you Cancer how that "recovery" you mentioned is going:
November 1:  11 mile run around Lake Natoma
November 2:  8.5 mile Apple Hill run
November 8: 11 mile run around Lake Natoma
November 11: 12 mile run up Donner Summit
November 15:  11 mile run around Lake Natoma again
November 22: 14 miles from Lake Natoma to Granite Bay and back (In the rain)
November 26: 15 miles Auburn to Cool and back
November 27: 10K turned into a 9 mile walk for Run to Feed the Hungry
November 29: 11 mile run around Lake Natoma (In the rain)
December 6: 11 mile run from Lake Natoma to Folsom Lake and back (In the rain)

Thankful

Wow!
For some reason I decided I would count my blessings and put down who and what I'm thankful for.
I'm into it well over 100 people and I'm sure there will be at least 100 more plus so many people who I don't even know.
How do I begin to say THANK YOU for your love, concern, friendship, encouragement, support, faith…
It's been a long, tough year and so many people have touched my life.
You've talked to me, sent emails, texts, Facebook posts, walked with me, ran with me, rode with me, sat with me, prayed with me or for me… and given me the hope and courage to continue on.
I didn't say it was a bad year. I really can't think of anything bad that has happened. When I look back It's all good. My life has changed and all of it for the better. I would do it all over if I had to knowing that I had so much support.
My motto for next year is "Conquer 2015"
So, please; Conquer 2015 with me.

Less than 0.1

What a relief. 

I just had my 3-month post-op appointment. 

The anxiety has been building over the last few weeks.

“What if...?”

“What will I do...?”

I couldn’t keep the worry, doubt, and fear from creeping in.

My PSA?

Less than 0.1; virtually undetectable.

I couldn’t ask for better results.

Another nail in the coffin of Cancer.

I was able to get my mind off my PSA results on my long runs on Saturday and Tuesday.

I had an epic run with Jon and Jess on Veteran’s day.

We went up to Donner Summit and ran on the Pacific Crest Trail up above Castle Summit.  The views were great, weather was perfect, and the company was awesome.

This was definitely a run to be repeated.

3 Months Post Surgery

Ok... I missed blogging last week.

It was a tough week.

I just lacked motivation.

Morning runs were tough.

Seemed like I didn’t have enough time for everything.

I did make it out for an 11 mile run around Lake Natoma on Saturday, but it was one of those runs that I never got into. 

Figured I’d get into it after a mile or two, two or three miles, maybe four or five miles, ok... eight or nine miles?

Ten miles in I just wanted to get back to the car. 

Just one of those days.

I even went home and took a nap...

But, it makes the good days seem all that much better.

This weekend, a completely different story!

Made it out to the lake again, this time with four from our running group. 

I felt great and pushed myself quickly up the hills.

After 10 miles I still had a lot in the tank so I picked up the pace the last mile.

Sunday, I did the Apple Hill 8.5 mile race with Jon & Jess. (My wife Andrea even came and walked the 3.5 mile course.)

Great running weather, about 40 degrees at the start. 

After the race we hung out in Apple Hill for a while.

Great Day!

Now for the deep stuff.

I’m getting anxious about my 3 month PSA test coming up.

I’ve read too many posts from guys who go through surgery and still show some PSA in their blood, then have to do radiation or hormone therapy.

I really don’t want to do either of those.

I try not to think about it, and I know by being anxious I’m not going to change anything.

But damn it, it’s still there.

Well, screw cancer.

I’m still fighting and I’m not letting down.

I’m eating clean, juicing, running, and trying to reduce stress.

I’m doing whatever I can to keep it from coming back.

I feel good right now and nothing can take that away.

I had a great day with my wife and friends, and nothing can take that away.

I had a wonderful weekend and kicked butt on the running trails... can’t take that away either.

Shit, I have a pretty wonderful life... can’t take that away.

Looks like I kicked cancers ass and I’m still kicking it even though its down and out.