The morning after

Didn't sleep well last night. My abs felt like I had done about 1,000 sit-ups along with bad gas pains. I think it's all the pushing around of the ab muscles and the gas they put in to blow you up for the robot to have room to work and see everything
They gave me something to sleep at 1:00 along with some Norco and Tylenol drip. Felt a lot better by 5:00.  Guess I have to get up and walk before I can go home. Still too much pain to do it now. Maybe In a few hours.

Let's get this done and over with

At this point I just want to be over the whole thing.
Cut it out.
Send me home to recover
Then get back to normal, or my new normal, with way less worry about the small stuff.

Surgery is at noon tomorrow (July 30).  Should be about 4 hours. Then recovery. Then when they get an open room they will stick me there for the night.

On another note.
Had a great run Sunday.  I did the first half of the San Francisco Marathon.  I signed up for the entire marathon and Dr. said it would be ok, but I just didn't want to take the chance of being sore going into surgery and make my body recovery from a long run and surgery.
It also marked week 169 of 10+ mile runs.  Every weekend for the last 3 years and 3 months I have been healthy enough to do a long run of at least 10 miles.  Now that streak of runs ends at 169.
Hay, I have a new goal… 170 weeks.

I'll put out a short, "I'm ok" post sometime after surgery.  Probably Thursday or Friday.
Keep up the prayers!

Redeeeee...

Shortly after I found out I had prostate cancer this picture came into my mind. 

Rocky against the Russian giant. 

Me against this huge killing machine called cancer. 

I was determined that I wouldn’t just stand there and take my beating.

I’m ready.

I know surgery is going to hit me hard, but I’m planning on getting right back up on my feet.

I’ll chase my enemies and they will fall before me... (Leviticus 20:7)

I’ve seen cancer take down friends and family who haven’t been able to fight.

I can fight. 
I’m going in swinging...

6 MILES WITH THE ROCKET

I can only take one step at a time...

Where did June go?

Where did the 4^th of July go?

Less than a month away from surgery.

On July 2, I had my pre-op physical with my primary care Dr.

He was more concerned with my mental health than my physical health.  He mentioned that my blood work and EKG look good but we talked more about the emotional aspect of the surgery.  After having the same surgery a year ago he understands the difficulty of hearing about all the possible outcomes and not knowing how you’re going to come out of it.  One of the most difficult things for him was waiting a week after surgery to get the pathology report. I know I’ll have those questions after surgery too. Did they get it all? Was the cancer more or less aggressive than the biopsy showed? Am I done with treatment? My appointment was more like talking to a friend who happens to be a doctor, about his experiences. I sure am blessed to have a Dr. like him.

The cancer messes more with my head than with my body.  Every day, every hour, wherever I turn it keeps getting into my head. While I was running Saturday, I was half way up a hill and started to get winded. The voices kicked in. “Why are you doing this?”  “You can’t do it.” When I came to the turn, instead of crossing the bridge, I pushed further up the hill about another 100 feet before I turned and went over the bridge.

I called it my, “F. you cancer, I’m the one who will determine what I can and can’t do” training.

Running is great therapy and it’s cheap.

It’s still hard for me to look out into the future and make plans or goals. 

My mind just shuts out the future.

I don’t have a fear that I won’t have a future, but my mind can only deal with getting this chapter behind me. 

So my wonderful wife sends me the following:

"When we are sure that we are on the right road there is no need to plan our journey too far ahead. No need to burden ourselves with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar our progress. We cannot take more than one step at a time." - Orison Swett Marden

All I have to do is take one more step...