53

When I look back over the last 4 months since my diagnosis of prostate cancer, the most difficult part was the initial concept of having cancer living in my body.  The first few weeks were tough.  I didn’t understand how or why.  

I didn’t know what my future would look like.  

I was angry, angry at the cancer.  

I let that anger push me into a fight, a fight I was determined to win. 

It didn’t matter how or why it happened. 

That was the past and I couldn’t change the past. 

But the future?  

I can do something about the future. 

Attitude is so important in the fighting and healing process.  

From the beginning I latched on to

Leviticus 26:7 Chase your enemies and they shall fall before you...

Cancer was the enemy and I wasn’t in denial about it. 

I looked it head on and went after it.

And... I’ve beat it!

Yesterday was my 53^rd birthday.  I don’t like parties but I let my wife put one together this year. There were 15 of my closest friends there. 

Every one of them has been thinking and praying for me.

They have been encouraging me all the way.

They give me strength.

How hard this journey would have been without them...

Without their prayers.

There is no way I could repay them for what they have given me, but there is no need.

That’s just what friends do.

I was given a picture with the following written on it:

CANCER

can never

consume love,

abolish hope,

erode faith,

disrupt peace,

repress courage,

attack the soul,

eliminate eternal life,

or conquer your

SPIRIT

I will stand firm, armed with these words.

When I feel afraid, discouraged, or hopeless due to cancer I will stand on these words.

It reminds me of something that a former college professor and mayor, Joe Serna, said while battling cancer:

Cancer may kill my body but it can’t kill my spirit.

My spirit keeps getting stronger and my body continues to recover and get stronger.

Soon I'll be back running the roads and trails.

Redeeeee...

Shortly after I found out I had prostate cancer this picture came into my mind. 

Rocky against the Russian giant. 

Me against this huge killing machine called cancer. 

I was determined that I wouldn’t just stand there and take my beating.

I’m ready.

I know surgery is going to hit me hard, but I’m planning on getting right back up on my feet.

I’ll chase my enemies and they will fall before me... (Leviticus 20:7)

I’ve seen cancer take down friends and family who haven’t been able to fight.

I can fight. 
I’m going in swinging...

Update...

Not much to really update on.
Surgery is still a long ways off (July 30) so I'm just trying to stay fit and healthy.
Running about 30 miles a week.
Getting in a few bike rides here and there.
Working out in our home/garage gym most days.
Eating organic whole foods, fruits and vegetables with a little fish and chicken.
Juicing 2-4 times a day to ramp up the enzymes and nutrients.
No processed foods. (Bread, pasta, cereal, crackers, chips, cookies…)
Reading about cancer and prostate cancer while trying not to obsess over it.
It sure is wonderful being a teacher with summers off!
I am amazed at all the prayer, positive thoughts, and support I'm getting.
Please keep it up. It gives me strength.
I need that strength for the times when I can't find it.
And so I continue…
I won't back down.
I won't give up.

Thanks for the reminder Harr!

Chase your enemies and they shall fall before you… Leviticus 26:7

I got in a good 15 mile run yesterdy. I get so much out of my long runs on the weekends.
Yesterday I met up with my regular weekend running group.  I need this group. They are there for me.  We understand each other.  Over the years we've learned when to talk, when to listen, and when to just let someone do their own thing.  I've been needing all of these the last few weeks.
When I'm out on the trail that's when I've been able to think, pray, and build my positive attitude.  What I get out of a couple hours running recharges me enough to make it through the week.  What I've been able to see on my weekend long runs is that this is a fight, a race, the race of my life.

People with prostate caner talk about "Active Surveillance", the idea of not immediately treating the cancer but actively watching the numbers to make sure it doesn't go anywhere.  Many people do Active Surveillance for years before they have to make a decision on how they are going to treat the cancer.  I've been told by some that I'm a good candidate for Active Surveillance.  If I can wait 5 more years before my cancer starts to spread there will be new and better treatments.
Thursday I went to a prostate cancer support group and the topic was Active Surveillance.  It was good to hear other men talk about their treatment, good or bad, to hear from some who are actively watching.

It comes down to this: I have to make the decision, and I have to live with it.
As I gain more information I am able to start putting the pieces of my own puzzle together.

Back to the run and what I got this week:  It's become clear to me; this fight I'm in. I can watch my enemy from a distance, and wait until he come at me and I'll be ready. I'll have gained knowledge about  him and learned his weaknesses while I studied him from a distance.

Sorry!
That's not for me!
I'm not going to sit and wait. I'm going after the sonofabitch!
I'm learning about my enemy while I run towards him.  I'm looking at this cancer right in the eyes running headlong into him.  I'm in training now, training my body, training my mind, and training my spirit.
I'm going to give this sonofabitch the fight of its life, and a short life at that.

For my body; I'm making it strong; running, riding, working out and eating well.
For my mind; I'm taking control of my thoughts. I'm not listening to the lies in my head.
For my spirit; I'm praying and taking prayer. I'm standing on Leviticus 26:7
CHASE YOUR ENEMIES AND THEY SHALL FALL BEFORE YOU...