8@8

It’s ironic that the ironman triathlon at Lake Tahoe that I was training for when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer (April 30, 2014) was cancelled due to smoke in the air from the large fire in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

Makes me think back to May; when I was struggling on which treatment to choose.

If I did radiation I wouldn’t have to change my training schedule much.  I could most likely still be in good enough condition to do the race.

If I did brachytherapy, implant little radioactive “seeds”, I would have to cut way back but might still be able to do the race as long as I started treatment soon.

If I did surgery I wouldn’t be able to do the race at all.  I’d be risking serious injury if I got back on the bike too soon.

Or, if I had listened to the first urologist I talked with, I could have waited until after the race then begin my treatment.

Then I shut the door.

I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to do the race. (At least not this year)

I couldn’t let one race cloud my judgment on what treatment would be best for me in the long run; 5 years, 10 years, 20 years down the road.

As soon as I made that decision the smoke cleared and I was able to look at my choices logically without any barriers.

After talking with a radiologist and second urologist I was 100% convinced that robotic surgery was what I needed.

Fast forward to July 30.  Radical Robotic Prostatectomy.  It wasn’t a cakewalk.  Going into it I was hoping that, maybe, because I was in good shape, I’d recover quickly.  That all flew out the window after surgery.  I was going to take as much time off work as I needed.  I worked at making myself rest.

Fast forward to six weeks after surgery.  My surgeon said that I could start running again six weeks the surgery.  (Some doctors say earlier is ok, but wasn't going to push it.)  If I wasn't ready I’d wait seven weeks, or eight weeks; whatever it took until I was ready.  But at six weeks I was able to run 3 miles and felt good.

Fast forward to seven weeks post surgery.  I had the support of 30 people walking and running the Zero Prostate Cancer 5K in San Francisco with me, one day before the ironman in Tahoe was supposed to take place.  Looking at it now, I think - no - I KNOW, that 5K means more to me than it would have if I had completed the ironman.

Fast forward to eight weeks post surgery; today.  I went back out to Lake Natoma to my usual weekend long run spot.  It was good to be out doing a long run again.  I went out 4 miles with some of the group then turned back as they went further.  On the way back that voice I hadn’t heard in weeks came back at me. 

“You call this a run?”

“You’re so weak.”

“You probably can’t even finish this 8 miles.” 

All I could do was laugh.  I actually laughed out loud.  Hopefully nobody was watching or they would have thought I was crazy. 

I’d heard that voice before I was diagnosed but it really hit me hard, and time and time again after my diagnosis.  I wrestled with it then.  I said I was going to win this fight and I did.  So when that voice came back today; I laughed, turned up my music, picked up the pace, and finished the 8 miles.  Eight miles, Eight weeks after surgery to rid my body of cancer.  I’m sure it’s been done before but I’m not racing against anyone. 

I like what one of the greatest runners ever, Steve Prefontaine, said:

“You have to wonder at times what you're doing out there. Over the years, I've given myself a thousand reasons to keep running, but it always comes back to where it started. It comes down to self-satisfaction and a sense of achievement."

It's Gone!

Great news today!

Went to the Dr. to get my pathology report and it showed all of the cancer was taken out, there were no positive margins.

In other words; there was no cancer from the prostate that was not contained in the capsule that he took out.

I started out as a stage T1 because they found it by doing a biopsy and otherwise wouldn’t have known it was there.

I went to a stage T2 when the second urologist felt something on the prostate that may or may not be contained in the prostate.

I went to a stage T3 after they took it out they discovered that it did extend past the prostate.

(See Diagrams)

That’s where the difference between a good surgeon and great surgeon comes in.

My Dr. said that he saw something that looked suspicious so he cut around it and took a little more tissue out.

Thank God he did.  Other surgeons may not have done so and I would be left with prostate cancer still in me.

It’s been a long week and I am physically and mentally exhausted.

Physically I’m still feeling better every day.

Dr. says no running for 6 weeks.

Not going to push it.

When I asked about returning to work he looked at me and said not to even worry about it.  It’s not worth going back to work a week too soon and cause irreversible damage for the rest of my life.

In the words of Martin Luther King Jr:

FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST; THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I'M FREE (of cancer) AT LAST!

I’ll post again soon but I just wanted to get the basic info out. 

Improving daily

Each day I feel like I am returning more and more to normal.
My body is still telling me that just had a major beat-down.
I'm a little sore, and tired throughout most of the day.
The tired like you have after a long day of work.
Took the puppy out for a walk around the block.
May venture out to the store with the wife.

Cancer Free???

Wednesday, July 30:

I went in for a robotic radical prostatectomy to remove my entire prostate.  Normal recovery is about 1 day, sometimes 2.  Mine was 3 days. 

When they did the procedure, they put me in an inverted incline to get at everything better.  They also pumped my stomach with CO2 gas so there is room to see and let the robot get to everything.

The procedure went well.  My Dr., who has done over 1,000 of these procedures, believes he got everything including one of nerves that showed up on the biopsy as having cancer surrounding it.

Thursday, July 31:

I had had enough of the hospital and wanted out.  One of the best ways to get the gas out is by doing a lot of walking so I was taking laps around the 6^th floor about every hour. 

The problem... my body didn’t react well to the pain meds and anesthesia.  It shut down and wouldn’t let the gas out (by farting). 

By Thursday afternoon the pain was excruciating!

I hadn't had anything to eat in over 48 hours and the narcotics were making me jittery.

At one point I was thinking that if this were the pain and discomfort I was feeling during an ironman, I’d quit. 

Then I realized, 

I’m not a quitter.  

I wouldn’t quit an ironman and I’m not quitting with this pain. 

Pain is weakness leaving the body. 

I am strong!

Friday, August 1:

Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk…  

I just did an easy half marathon on Sunday.  

I can walk another 13.1 miles around the 6^th floor if I have to.  

One of the nurses told me that they were going to charge me if I wore out the carpet.

Realizing that there was no chance of me going home Friday night my wife went to go home at 8:30.  She was praying for me with our friends Greg and Annett, and it came!

“I just farted!”

Talk about an answered prayer!

Andrea wrote it on my little room whiteboard.

8:31 PM 1^st Fart

Saturday, August 2:

After passing more gas during the night, the Doc put me on clear liquids.

All was well so he put me on what the hospital called food.

If I was ok with this and passed some gas, then I could go home.

Pretty gross but I ate some of it,

farted,

and went home.

End of story.

Still recovering

Wow. Who knew farting was so important?  Can't get out of here until I pass gas. PAINFUL day yesterday. Better so far today. Pray for farts!

The morning after

Didn't sleep well last night. My abs felt like I had done about 1,000 sit-ups along with bad gas pains. I think it's all the pushing around of the ab muscles and the gas they put in to blow you up for the robot to have room to work and see everything
They gave me something to sleep at 1:00 along with some Norco and Tylenol drip. Felt a lot better by 5:00.  Guess I have to get up and walk before I can go home. Still too much pain to do it now. Maybe In a few hours.

Let's get this done and over with

At this point I just want to be over the whole thing.
Cut it out.
Send me home to recover
Then get back to normal, or my new normal, with way less worry about the small stuff.

Surgery is at noon tomorrow (July 30).  Should be about 4 hours. Then recovery. Then when they get an open room they will stick me there for the night.

On another note.
Had a great run Sunday.  I did the first half of the San Francisco Marathon.  I signed up for the entire marathon and Dr. said it would be ok, but I just didn't want to take the chance of being sore going into surgery and make my body recovery from a long run and surgery.
It also marked week 169 of 10+ mile runs.  Every weekend for the last 3 years and 3 months I have been healthy enough to do a long run of at least 10 miles.  Now that streak of runs ends at 169.
Hay, I have a new goal… 170 weeks.

I'll put out a short, "I'm ok" post sometime after surgery.  Probably Thursday or Friday.
Keep up the prayers!

Redeeeee...

Shortly after I found out I had prostate cancer this picture came into my mind. 

Rocky against the Russian giant. 

Me against this huge killing machine called cancer. 

I was determined that I wouldn’t just stand there and take my beating.

I’m ready.

I know surgery is going to hit me hard, but I’m planning on getting right back up on my feet.

I’ll chase my enemies and they will fall before me... (Leviticus 20:7)

I’ve seen cancer take down friends and family who haven’t been able to fight.

I can fight. 
I’m going in swinging...